Domestic Violence

How Do I Combat My Feelings of aggression

Posted in Anger Management, Blog, Domestic Violence

How Do I Combat My Feelings of aggression

When conducting domestic violence treatment groups, we sometimes show lists of thought distortions. A short list of thought distortions looks like this: All or nothing thinking, Overgeneralization, Mental Filter, Discounting the positive, Jumping to conclusions, Catastrophizing/Minimizing, Emotion based reasoning, Should Statements, Labeling, and Personalization. There is a reason these things are not listed together with the positive aspects of your life…Because it’s not possible for happiness and sadness to co-exist. Just like it’s not possible for pride to co-exist with...

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Classification of Intimate Partner Violence Perpetrators

Posted in Anger Management, Blog, Domestic Violence, Familicide, Featured, Uncategorized

Classification of Intimate Partner Violence Perpetrators

Being classified as a DV perpetrator is probably the broadest way to categorize someone into the one-size fits all group. For the sake of this post, I will speak in terms of low level, medium, and high risk categories of perpetrators of domestic violence. First, let me say that I am aware of the many groups of advocates and social activists who are doing great work in terms of caring for the victims of partner violence – that is their share of this pie. Also, even though DV can be perpetrated by both females and males, it is predominate among males and so, I refer only to the males as...

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A Good Marriage

Posted in Anger Management, Domestic Violence, Veteran's Sound Off

A Good Marriage

I know a couple (man and wife) who have very distinct and traditional roles in their marriage. The husband is the bread winner and the wife manages the home, which includes balancing the check book and budget. If you were to see this couple walking together hand in hand in the mall, you would not guess this is the case. They are content with what they have and don’t seek to get what they cannot afford. Their finances are well balanced with the spending, and if they decide together that they would like something new for the house, it is discussed between the two and decided upon. The...

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How to Combat Domestic Violence

Posted in Anger Management, Domestic Violence, Familicide, Uncategorized, Veterans Issues

How to Combat Domestic Violence

Is there a more complex issue having to do with families? After all, we turn the news on and what do we hear? Someone just shot and killed a police officer who was answering a 911 call about domestic violence. Or a distraught father decides to kill his whole family instead of letting go of something that really didn’t belong to him in the first place. At least not in the way he thought they belonged to him. A quick check of our County Jail shows in excess of 650 inmates and a whopping 1/3 of those were due to assaulting a family member. This is the typical population of our county...

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Reflections of a Tragedy

Posted in Anger Management, Domestic Violence, Familicide

Reflections of a Tragedy

It has been nearly four years since the murder of five of our eight grandchildren. Their distraught father who had been arrested and charged with assault/DV just a month prior, murdered them. I wrote what can be considered a fatality review of the event. In my research following the murders, I have been able to form an opinion about the profile of a person capable of such a dastardly deed. In any relationship, there are many moving parts and is most certainly multidimensional in that it takes more than one element to ensure its success or failure. The most haunting of questions I had then...

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What is a Marriage?

Posted in Anger Management, Domestic Violence

What is a Marriage?

I know a couple (man and wife) that have very distinct and traditional roles in their marriage. The husband is the breadwinner and the wife manages the home, which includes balancing the checkbook and budget. If you were to see this couple walking together hand in hand in the mall, you would not guess this is the case. They are content with what they have and don’t seek to get what they cannot afford. Their finances are well balanced with the spending and if they decide together that they would like something new for the house, it is discussed between the two and decided upon. The...

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