Even when a person decides to change, it’s not like flipping the light switch off. The behavior continues without practicing alternative ways of conflict resolution. This is assuming the Abuser is not showing any sociopathic tendencies, in which case, no reason is needed for abuse. When a person decides to change, that first step is the most powerful of all changes.
The next step is to discover why the behavior was there in the first place – an exploration of belief systems to discover if there are any flaws in that area. Ask yourself, “How did I come to believe it’s okay to manipulate and use other controlling behaviors in order to maintain a comfort zone?”
If possible, after you have taken responsibility for your own abusive behaviors, explore your relationship and share with your partner how you are changing and trying to change (in time, you’ll not need to tell your partner as they will see the change). Learn to take criticism constructively and to invest into your emotional bank account by complimenting not only your intimate partner but everyone in your household. This investment cost no money and have a tremendous return ratio – guaranteed!
Why does an Abuser continue to abuse?
