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Behavioral Manifestations of Parental Alienation

Behavioral Manifestations of Parental Alienation

by | Uncategorized

These are the symptoms of parental alienation that appear within alienated children. Generally,

the more symptoms present and the more severe the symptoms, the more severe the alienation;

all manifestations do not need to be present in order for alienation to exist.

1. Campaign of denigration: Strong or utter rejection of one parent, willingness to tell others,

erasing past positive aspects of relationship and memories.

2. Weak, frivolous, absurd reasons for the rejection: When pressed to explain the rejection will

give reasons that do not make sense or explain the level of animosity, are false memories

(proclaiming to remember something from a very young age), or are patently untrue.

3. Lack of ambivalence: For the most part, one parent is seen as all good while the other is

viewed as all bad.

4. “Independent thinker” phenomenon: The child strongly emphasizes that the favored parent

played no role in the child’s rejection of the other parent.

5. Reflexive support of the alienating parent in the parental conflict: Almost always taking the

favored parent’s side in almost all disagreements.

6. Absence of guilt: Appearing to have no qualms about cruel and harsh treatment of the rejected

parent.

7. The presence of borrowed scenarios: Use of words and phrases that mimic or parrot those of

the favored parent.

8. Rejection of extended family of rejected parent: Refusal to spend time with or acknowledge

formerly beloved family members.

Amy J. L. Baker and S. Richard Sauber, editors, Working with Alienated Children and Families:

A Clinical Guidebook (New York: Routledge, 2013), 62.

I Have a Mentor

by | Uncategorized

I Have a Mentor

An Excerpt from a soon-to-be-published book

Actually, I have more than one mentor, but all are equally important to me. I turn to my mentors when I need advice. These mentors are not always aware of when I’m in need, but that’s because I don’t call them – I recall something they have said or did to get some of the answers I seek. Sometimes I socialize with my mentors, not always in person but am still listening to them and taking in what they say or have read something they wrote that I save for use at a later date – never know though, when that date will arrive.

My mentors don’t pick me rather, I pick them. They are young, old, male, and female. I have known many of them for years and others, just recent acquaintances. When I pick them, they are not aware that I am doing so; it is that discreet. They have said something wise or have taught me something that has enhanced my life, but in any case, they are selfless, and their only motive is to share something useful with the rest of the world – “they are giving back.”

When my mentors witness me in error, they are not judgmental, and when correcting me, they don’t point out the actual error. Instead, they bring attention to alternative points of view, allowing me to make another, more sound decision that will give me a more desirable outcome. I guess it’s like math – indeed, an equation that requires calculated risks to realize the desired change.

My mentors are not afraid to tell me what their opinion is on controversial subjects and don’t try to sway my belief in the process. It is just an exchange of ideas. They treat me with respect, and as I watch them, I see that they respect everyone. What they give to the world is indiscriminate with no prerequisites for receiving – it’s based on needs only. They are keenly aware of their imperfections and embrace the chance to improve them.

My mentors know how to criticize without being contemptuous. They understand the difference between the two words, and no one is destructive to relationships. To the many mentors on my list, I would like to thank you for knowing that doing the right thing is not the exception rather the norm.

Stealth learning by: Mike WIllbur

I Have a Mentor

I Have a Mentor

by | Anger Management, Domestic Violence, Familicide, Forensic Counseling, PTSD, Uncategorized

Actually, I have more than one mentor, but all are equally important to me. I turn to my mentors when I’m in need of advice. These mentors are not always aware of when I’m in need but that’s because I don’t call them – I recall something they have said or did to get some of the answers I seek. Sometimes I socialize with my mentors; not always in person but am always listening to them and taking in what they say or have read something they wrote that I save for use at a later date – never know though, when that date will arrive.

My mentors don’t pick me rather I pick them. They are young, old, male and female. I have known many of them for years and others, just recent acquaintances. When I pick them, they are not aware that I am doing so; it is that discreet. They have said something wise or have taught me something that has enhanced my life but in any case, they are selfless and their only motive is to share something useful with the rest of the world – “they are giving back.”

When my mentors witness me in error, they are not judgmental and when correcting me, they don’t point out the actual error. Instead, they bring attention to alternative points of view, allowing me to make another, more sound decision that will give me a more desirable outcome. I guess it’s like math – certainly an equation that requires calculated risks in order to realize a desired change.

My mentors are not afraid to tell me what their opinion is on controversial subjects and don’t try to sway my opinion in the process. It is just an exchange of ideas. They treat me with respect and as I watch them, I see that they respect everyone. What they give to the world is indiscriminate with no prerequisites for receiving – it’s based on needs only. They are keenly aware of their own imperfections and embrace the chance to improve them.

My mentors know how to criticize without being contemptuous. They understand the difference between the two words and know one is destructive to relationships. To the many mentors on my list, I would like to thank you for knowing that doing the right thing is not the exception rather the norm.

 

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Behavioral Manifestations of Parental Alienation

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Actually, I have more than one mentor, but all are equally important to me. I turn to my mentors when I’m in need of advice. These mentors are not always aware of when I’m in need but that’s because I don’t call them – I recall something they have said or did to get some of the answers I seek. Sometimes I socialize with my mentors; not always in person but am always listening to them and taking in what they say or have read something they wrote that I save for use at a later date – never know though, when that date will arrive.

System Or Procedural Problems?

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In the northwest, recent family catastrophic events bring to my attention, the procedures, either lacking or not followed regarding domestic violence and the courts. In 2012, Joshua Powell murdered his two sons in a house fire that he too perished. In a short video, I...

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So often we hear things like, “Just let them cry it out” or “Ignore them, that’ll stop it.” I suppose if you want to have a child surrounded by anxiety issues in their adult life, that would be the way to go, you know, to create a being embedded with an insatiable...

Contact Me

Ask a question or book an appointment below. For emergencies call 911 or visit your nearest hospital

(360) 910-1687
mwillbur@willburcounseling.com

System Or Procedural Problems?

System Or Procedural Problems?

by | Familicide, Uncategorized

In the northwest, recent family catastrophic events bring to my attention, the procedures, either lacking or not followed regarding domestic violence and the courts. In 2012, Joshua Powell murdered his two sons in a house fire that he too perished.

In a short video, I viewed a news clip showing the Powell boys entering the house where their father was, ahead of the social worker assigned to the case, and to supervise the visitation. This proved fatal for those children, but of course, it was Joshua Powell that did the deed. And as in every after-action review, we can see that if procedures were in place to ensure safety, this might have never happened.

Another case, which happened in Vancouver, WA in 2011, found Tuan Dao with five of his six children in a vacant house, soon to be foreclosed. Just 30 days prior, he was arrested for assaulting his wife in their home. There was a No Contact Order in place, naming his wife as the protected party. The incident happened with the children present yet, and the court did not require supervised visitation for at least the time needed to adjudicate the case against Tuan Dao.

As in Josh Powell, Tuan Dao set his house ablaze with him and the children inside. They all perished. The similarities are worth studying. Josh Powell had a hatchet while Tuan Dao had a hammer, and both struck a match to end it all for themselves and the children.

It’s a guessing game trying to figure out why these two supposedly doting fathers would kill their children. It is much easier to accept the fact that the children were not in a safe environment, and a system coupled with the procedures within that system failed. It was unintentional but still a failure and certainly worth bringing the problems or perceived problems to the surface for analyzing and correction for the prevention of future such catastrophic events.

Summary:

It only makes sense for the court to look at each case and pick the ones where children are included in the relationship and not allow visitation without supervision during the adjudication period. Additionally, as we saw in the Powell case, if on that fateful day, the house was inspected before allowing the children in, that may have prevented the event. That said, the social worker in the Powell case may have been in danger as well, so I choose to believe, as do most behavioral scientists, that these family annihilators are anomalies. This fact does not relieve us of that awesome responsibility to ensure the safety of all family members.

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I Have a Mentor

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by

Actually, I have more than one mentor, but all are equally important to me. I turn to my mentors when I’m in need of advice. These mentors are not always aware of when I’m in need but that’s because I don’t call them – I recall something they have said or did to get some of the answers I seek. Sometimes I socialize with my mentors; not always in person but am always listening to them and taking in what they say or have read something they wrote that I save for use at a later date – never know though, when that date will arrive.

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System Or Procedural Problems?

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So often we hear things like, “Just let them cry it out” or “Ignore them, that’ll stop it.” I suppose if you want to have a child surrounded by anxiety issues in their adult life, that would be the way to go, you know, to create a being embedded with an insatiable...

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Profiles of Family Annihilators

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Most often in the universe outside law enforcement and the Court system, family annihilators are viewed as sociopathic, living outside the law. But the research shows otherwise, and we should all take heed and consider the possible corrective actions that would help...

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Contact Me

Ask a question or book an appointment below. For emergencies call 911 or visit your nearest hospital

(360) 910-1687
mwillbur@willburcounseling.com