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I Have a Mentor

I Have a Mentor

Actually, I have more than one mentor, but all are equally important to me. I turn to my mentors when I’m in need of advice. These mentors are not always aware of when I’m in need but that’s because I don’t call them – I recall something they have said or did to get some of the answers I seek. Sometimes I socialize with my mentors; not always in person but am always listening to them and taking in what they say or have read something they wrote that I save for use at a later date – never know though, when that date will arrive.

My mentors don’t pick me rather I pick them. They are young, old, male and female. I have known many of them for years and others, just recent acquaintances. When I pick them, they are not aware that I am doing so; it is that discreet. They have said something wise or have taught me something that has enhanced my life but in any case, they are selfless and their only motive is to share something useful with the rest of the world – “they are giving back.”

When my mentors witness me in error, they are not judgmental and when correcting me, they don’t point out the actual error. Instead, they bring attention to alternative points of view, allowing me to make another, more sound decision that will give me a more desirable outcome. I guess it’s like math – certainly an equation that requires calculated risks in order to realize a desired change.

My mentors are not afraid to tell me what their opinion is on controversial subjects and don’t try to sway my opinion in the process. It is just an exchange of ideas. They treat me with respect and as I watch them, I see that they respect everyone. What they give to the world is indiscriminate with no prerequisites for receiving – it’s based on needs only. They are keenly aware of their own imperfections and embrace the chance to improve them.

My mentors know how to criticize without being contemptuous. They understand the difference between the two words and know one is destructive to relationships. To the many mentors on my list, I would like to thank you for knowing that doing the right thing is not the exception rather the norm.

 

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I Have a Mentor

I Have a Mentor

Actually, I have more than one mentor, but all are equally important to me. I turn to my mentors when I’m in need of advice. These mentors are not always aware of when I’m in need but that’s because I don’t call them – I recall something they have said or did to get some of the answers I seek. Sometimes I socialize with my mentors; not always in person but am always listening to them and taking in what they say or have read something they wrote that I save for use at a later date – never know though, when that date will arrive.

How Dr. Spock Destroyed America

How Dr. Spock Destroyed America

A Thoughtful Response This article, written by the WND staff, delivers evidence of how we became unbridled in our belief that sparing the rod would produce well-balanced children—absent of all the anxiety caused by chaos in the home. While it is true that when the...

The Eclectic Approach to PTSD Treatment

Treatment for PTSD will depend on the needs and desires of the person seeking treatment. Some of the most common modalities for treatment of PTSD are listed below: Behavioral or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) This approach...

Contact Me

Ask a question or book an appointment below. For emergencies call 911 or visit your nearest hospital

(360) 910-1687
mwillbur@willburcounseling.com

How Dr. Spock Destroyed America

How Dr. Spock Destroyed America

Benjamin Mclane Spock 1976

A Thoughtful Response

This article, written by the WND staff, delivers evidence of how we became unbridled in our belief that sparing the rod would produce well-balanced children—absent of all the anxiety caused by chaos in the home. While it is true that when the wrong kind of discipline is doled out, and done so liberally without regard for what the child is even learning, it may cause harm. However, when no discipline at all is used to correct/raise a child, we produce what we may now call an unruly generation.

In fact, it’s been several generations since Dr. Spock published his book. It’s changed the world as we know it! In all the homes in which I have conducted evaluations, the most chaotic ones are those without rules or roles for family members to live by—homes following Dr. Spock’s model where personal responsibility takes a back seat to gratification.

Dr. Spock didn’t influence our family much. I recall as a child there were consequences for everything we did. We learned to consider those consequences before leaping into uncharted territory. It’s a model that works when affection, understanding and respect are present as well.

Unfortunately, the solution to high crime levels in America goes beyond the scope of this article, but if we look at the true value of discipline in the home, the answer is obvious to any reasonable person.

Contact Me

Ask a question or book an appointment below. For emergencies call 911 or visit your nearest hospital

(360) 910-1687
mwillbur@willburcounseling.com

The Eclectic Approach to PTSD Treatment

Treatment for PTSD will depend on the needs and desires of the person seeking treatment. Some of the most common modalities for treatment of PTSD are listed below: Behavioral or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) This approach looks at ways in which a person thinks about a problem, learned to certain triggers associated with that problem and ways in which thinking affects the emotional state. This treatment often uses a combination of exposure (deliberately thinking about an event or confronting a trigger) and relaxation training along with cognitive restructuring or changing thoughts or beliefs about that event or trigger. This process tends to desensitize a person’s response to reminders of the event so that it no longer carries the same emotional impact. This can be a very effective treatment. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) This modality uses exposure to the traumatic memory paired with “bilateral stimulation” of the brain by tracking the therapist’s finger or string of lights with the eyes or listening to alternating tones. Current thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and beliefs are activated and the tracking helps to reduce emotional and physiological reaction to the memory. This desensitization helps to process negative beliefs about themselves to adaptive, healthy and more accurate beliefs. There have been numerous studies over the years on EMDR and has shown to be a rapid and effective treatment for PTSD. Group Therapy Group therapy can be helpful following a traumatic event as it provides a safe and supportive environment in which to discuss a shared experience with others. There is often a felt sense that nobody understands and a group can help a person to feel less alienated, normalizing reactions to an abnormal event. Medication Medication is an option but many avoid this as they may feel stigmatized for doing so. Traumatic events can influence the neurochemistry of the body and brain, impacting the person in many ways. Excessive stress hormones can make it difficult to concentrate, relax or even sleep. They can increase blood pressure, muscle tension, skin conductance and general arousal levels. Traumatic events can also impair immune system functioning, making people more vulnerable to illness. Medication can be an effective way to reset these levels in the brain and may prove to be very helpful for a period.