Actually, I have more than one mentor, but all are equally important to me. I turn to my mentors when I’m in need of advice. These mentors are not always aware of when I’m in need but that’s because I don’t call them – I recall something they have said or did to get some of the answers I seek. Sometimes I socialize with my mentors; not always in person but am always listening to them and taking in what they say or have read something they wrote that I save for use at a later date – never know though, when that date will arrive.
My mentors don’t pick me rather I pick them. They are young, old, male and female. I have known many of them for years and others, just recent acquaintances. When I pick them, they are not aware that I am doing so; it is that discreet. They have said something wise or have taught me something that has enhanced my life but in any case, they are selfless and their only motive is to share something useful with the rest of the world – “they are giving back.”
When my mentors witness me in error, they are not judgmental and when correcting me, they don’t point out the actual error. Instead, they bring attention to alternative points of view, allowing me to make another, more sound decision that will give me a more desirable outcome. I guess it’s like math – certainly an equation that requires calculated risks in order to realize a desired change.
My mentors are not afraid to tell me what their opinion is on controversial subjects and don’t try to sway my opinion in the process. It is just an exchange of ideas. They treat me with respect and as I watch them, I see that they respect everyone. What they give to the world is indiscriminate with no prerequisites for receiving – it’s based on needs only. They are keenly aware of their own imperfections and embrace the chance to improve them.
My mentors know how to criticize without being contemptuous. They understand the difference between the two words and know one is destructive to relationships. To the many mentors on my list, I would like to thank you for knowing that doing the right thing is not the exception rather the norm.
Related Insights
When Weaponizing Your Children Hurts
Received another request recently, to conduct a domestic violence evaluation. The mandate to get this evaluation was triggered by allegations spewing from the lips of both parents who were striving to gain the upper hand over the other parent. Effectively, these...
How Dr. Spock Destroyed America
A Thoughtful Response This article, written by the WND staff, delivers evidence of how we became unbridled in our belief that sparing the rod would produce well-balanced children—absent of all the anxiety caused by chaos in the home. While it is true that when the...
Autism Spectrum Disorder and Prison
Sometime back, I conducted an evaluation on a client who had been recently released from prison. Not only did I provisionally diagnosed this person, the client was previously diagnosed while in prison a number of years ago. What? Autism spectrum disorder. This poor...
How Do I Combat My Feelings of Aggression
When conducting domestic violence treatment groups, we sometimes show lists of thought distortions. A short list of thought distortions looks like this: All or nothing thinkingOvergeneralizationMental FilterDiscounting the positiveJumping to...
Classification of Intimate Partner Violence Perpetrators
Being classified as a DV perpetrator is probably the broadest way to categorize someone into the one-size fits all group. For the sake of this post, I will speak in terms of low level, medium, and high risk categories of perpetrators of domestic violence. First, let...
Domestic Violence Treatment
A domestic violence perpetrator treatment program must focus treatment primarily on ending the participant's physical, sexual, and psychological abuse. The primary goal of a domestic violence perpetrator treatment program must be to increase the victim's safety by:...
Contact Me
Ask a question or book an appointment below. For emergencies call 911 or visit your nearest hospital
