Actually, I have more than one mentor, but all are equally important to me. I turn to my mentors when I’m in need of advice. These mentors are not always aware of when I’m in need but that’s because I don’t call them – I recall something they have said or did to get some of the answers I seek. Sometimes I socialize with my mentors; not always in person but am always listening to them and taking in what they say or have read something they wrote that I save for use at a later date – never know though, when that date will arrive.
My mentors don’t pick me rather I pick them. They are young, old, male and female. I have known many of them for years and others, just recent acquaintances. When I pick them, they are not aware that I am doing so; it is that discreet. They have said something wise or have taught me something that has enhanced my life but in any case, they are selfless and their only motive is to share something useful with the rest of the world – “they are giving back.”
When my mentors witness me in error, they are not judgmental and when correcting me, they don’t point out the actual error. Instead, they bring attention to alternative points of view, allowing me to make another, more sound decision that will give me a more desirable outcome. I guess it’s like math – certainly an equation that requires calculated risks in order to realize a desired change.
My mentors are not afraid to tell me what their opinion is on controversial subjects and don’t try to sway my opinion in the process. It is just an exchange of ideas. They treat me with respect and as I watch them, I see that they respect everyone. What they give to the world is indiscriminate with no prerequisites for receiving – it’s based on needs only. They are keenly aware of their own imperfections and embrace the chance to improve them.
My mentors know how to criticize without being contemptuous. They understand the difference between the two words and know one is destructive to relationships. To the many mentors on my list, I would like to thank you for knowing that doing the right thing is not the exception rather the norm.
Related Insights
Worthiness
I have noticed in DV treatment group meetings that unless a person realizes they are worthwhile, change may be more of an uphill battle than it already is. It's really sad for me to witness this self loathing and believe it can be countered by helping people learn how...
Is Domestic Violence a Disease?
There are many studies out there making the claim that a psycho educational modality of treatment is best for DV Perpetrators. Although this Duluth model of treatment seems to be somewhat effective in many communities, it is singular in nature and attributes Domestic...
When to leave your relationship
This will not set well with traditional Christians but gee whiz! Since we are imperfect and undoubtedly make mistakes in life, we ought to be able to reverse any decisions made in the past that are causing havoc in our present life if possible. Lives are destroyed all...
Stopping the behavior doesn't stop the control by terror
In the State of Washington, a court mandated Domestic Violence Perpetrator is required to attend six months of weekly sessions and six months of monthly for a total of 30 visits to the treatment facility. In most cases, are the perpetrators simply attending and not...
Questions of Suicide and Motives
Is it suicide that is really sought out by the person who just died by his or her own hand? Or is suicide the tool used to stop the pain that is somehow induced into their already miserable existence? In the case of Tuan Dao, if we look closer into his life, we can...
Reason for writing this book
I received some feedback on the book and find that some have missed the point. And that is, with matters of the heart, it is complex and can't be resolved with unprofessional intervention, family, or friends who want only to join in on the folly. Marriage is the union...
Contact Me
Ask a question or book an appointment below. For emergencies call 911 or visit your nearest hospital
