The scenario is, I was arrested and the charges against me were Assault IV/Domestic Violence. It has never happened before – or should I say, the Police have never been called before. Okay, let’s say, I don’t get physically abusive in my home but this one time, I lost control of myself…oh, did I say control? Yes, it really is about control and the relinquishing of that control to you intimate partner. How can I do that? I was raised to be in charge of my family. In fact, nobody ever told me but I think it meant, “I am the superior gender of the two”
That was my assumption all these years? So when I attend Domestic Violence treatment and it takes me weeks – maybe months to admit that I am a power and control seeker. I’ll know it’s my problem because it’s the denial that supports the premise that I seek control. It’s what I was taught. Maybe not directly but I learned it nonetheless. This is how I know it’s my problem. I can’t admit in an open forum that I am not necessarily the superior gender. I can’t say that my partner and I really have a partnership and in any sense of the word, we are not collaborators. And so, it will take me maybe longer than the court has mandated, to rebuild my relationship if there is a relationship left.
This was just an example of what I sometimes witness…
